The answer is less.

Male Anna's Hummingbird in-flight in my front yard. Taken with Canon 1D Mark III, 300mm f/2.8L IS + 1.4 TC and EX580 flash ETTL Mode FEC 0, manual meter mode -2 stops to let the flash fill the frame, handheld. 50% crop.

Hello Friends,

Yes, it’s been months since you’ve heard from me, and here’s where I’ve been.

When I left San Rafael in October, 2014 I moved three times in 6 months. This past summer my body declared ENOUGH! Not surprisingly, I got sick.

And now, here come the holidays. Like moving, the holidays present challenges too. Let alone the world news can be soooo overwhelming these days, too.

When changes come at us quickly, we need internal space to process and rebalance our energy. I find I need  to balance activity with stillness, and disruptions with peace.

I confess, my move to LA last May was more emotional, exhausting and mysterious than anticipated. I thought the move would be exclusively fun, after all, my daughter was having a baby and we wanted to be there!

I’d hoped for a soft landing but got vertigo instead on my second week in our new place. The vertigo hit me while doing morning yoga (vomiting, room spinning type dizziness) and took me out of circulation for over a month. Vertigo is debilitating! One of the worst things I’ve ever faced—couldn’t exercise or read.

Exercise and reading are big rocks for me and without them my foundation slid fast.

Back pain became an issue and finally a depression hit me after worrying that the whole move was wrong.

Truthfully, I’m not an LA “kinda” girl. And setting up a household while dizzy was rough. Despite the arrival of our amazing Isabel, I wasn’t myself.IMG_0836

 

I’m not sure why, but the geography here, the busyness, even the new role of becoming a grandmother was overwhleming for me.

 

I’ve had to stay off the computer and avoid reading to heal the vertigo. I’ve learned about ear crystals and head exercises to restore my balance. I learned to sleep more upright and found myself tenderly doing nothing a large part of the time to heal.

I’ve watched more TV this year than in my whole life. Reality TV was eye opening and left me wondering how some people could do so much, like surviving in the Columbian jungle naked and afraid without food, while I was doing “nothing” on the sofa, and watching the clouds go by.

What have I learned? Well, that my fragile side needs a sense of home no matter where she is. She needs to make health a daily practice, especially when illness arrives.

…Illness often serves the purpose to slow us down, from the act of doing more to a state of being more. That being more means finding more of ourselves.

I realize now that I didn’t need to feel “bad” for needing half a year to do “nothing” to restore myself. In fact that’s exactly how my initial recovery from fibromyalgia began in 2007.  

Being with our thoughts and feelings isn’t doing “nothing”…it is something.

I’ve missed writing to you all. And I’m thankful to feel apart of this health seeking community.

How do you handle overwhelm? Please share here so we can all benefit together.

I’ll be starting a free weekly health call in January. Stay tuned.

Love and Happy Thanksgiving! Gwendolyn

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